***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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