I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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