i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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