Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
