just come out here and I will go home with you...
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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