I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
