Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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