I want to have your abortion
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
