Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
