He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
It's blow job season.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
