hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
