well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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