Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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