I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
