In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
