what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
