Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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