There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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