shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
