i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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