What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
