another moral hangover. fuck.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Found the puke drawer
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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