Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
