Yo dont text me then not text me
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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