The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
from now on my penis is your penis
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
