I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
