New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
