yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
