2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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