So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
