I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize