you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
