I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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