Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
