I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
