i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
