We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize