I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Who wears a wallet chain?!
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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