just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
