My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
