i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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