I'm laying in your front yard are you home
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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