I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
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