im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
