Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
