Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
