They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
