Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
