yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I think I sprained my soul last night
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
