Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
