well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
