the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
