Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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