I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I think a kid would responsible me up
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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